Some of the running articles I’ve been reading advocate finding a training partner. They say stuff like “Enlist the help of a friend,” in a tone that’s just a little too cheery for my liking before underlining that, “this is great for companionship or for the rivalry, or for both!” I’m sorry, “companionship”? Isn’t that something for sad middle-aged, singletons who spend weekends huddled by the fire, wrapped up in patchwork shawls, supping a hearty broth of winter vegetables, when they articulate the relationship they have with ALL 15 OF THEIR CATS? Well I can assure you sir that is not me because I do not, repeat NOT, own a shawl. Not a patchwork one anyway.
Anyway, like a cow’s opinion, it’s a moo point because I prefer to run on my own so I can…
a) go at my own pace.
b) stop whenever I want / cough up a lung, whichever comes first.
c) run in quiet areas where my saggy-assed, cotton jogging pants won’t be subject to a lot of finger-pointing and ridicule… Nike-clad 5 year-olds can be so cruel.
But yesterday I bucked that trend when valued work colleague Eric B (seen here with pal Rakim during the time of their successful hip hop revolution in the mid 80s) persuaded me to go jogging with him at lunchtime. This was more than a little daunting and embarrassing for me, not only because Eric is very fit and attends the gym regularly, but because my own hip hop revolution dissolved and died somewhat in 1988 after the release of the much misunderstood “Stickin’ It To The Gangsta Hamster” album.
However, I needn’t have worried. Eric was polite enough not to mention the 1980s and instead educated me in the importance of “stretching”, a process by which the muscles in your legs should be warmed up and then “stretched” (hence the name) to prevent injury and ensure longer lasting muscle freshness. Who knew?
The other thing I learned during our 40 minute excursion is that when you’re very fit, you can run and talk AT THE SAME TIME. This is an astonishing feat to me and one which currently, I have zero ability to perform but Eric gets through a mind-boggling myriad of topics, from Gaza to Gazza, whilst I can only retort with the odd thumbs-up (or down) coupled with a barely audible, “Muth… Effin… Hol… Swee… Eff… Chr… Jes... stard!”
It was my toughest workout so far in this ridiculous venture but I felt great, if a little sleepy, for the rest of yesterday afternoon. By the evening I was grateful for a comfortable seat at the SECC to see Coldplay live in concert. And by 10am this morning I could barely f#cking walk from the indescribable waves of pain shooting up through my left foot.
Oh f#ck!
Anyway, like a cow’s opinion, it’s a moo point because I prefer to run on my own so I can…
a) go at my own pace.
b) stop whenever I want / cough up a lung, whichever comes first.
c) run in quiet areas where my saggy-assed, cotton jogging pants won’t be subject to a lot of finger-pointing and ridicule… Nike-clad 5 year-olds can be so cruel.
But yesterday I bucked that trend when valued work colleague Eric B (seen here with pal Rakim during the time of their successful hip hop revolution in the mid 80s) persuaded me to go jogging with him at lunchtime. This was more than a little daunting and embarrassing for me, not only because Eric is very fit and attends the gym regularly, but because my own hip hop revolution dissolved and died somewhat in 1988 after the release of the much misunderstood “Stickin’ It To The Gangsta Hamster” album.However, I needn’t have worried. Eric was polite enough not to mention the 1980s and instead educated me in the importance of “stretching”, a process by which the muscles in your legs should be warmed up and then “stretched” (hence the name) to prevent injury and ensure longer lasting muscle freshness. Who knew?
The other thing I learned during our 40 minute excursion is that when you’re very fit, you can run and talk AT THE SAME TIME. This is an astonishing feat to me and one which currently, I have zero ability to perform but Eric gets through a mind-boggling myriad of topics, from Gaza to Gazza, whilst I can only retort with the odd thumbs-up (or down) coupled with a barely audible, “Muth… Effin… Hol… Swee… Eff… Chr… Jes... stard!”
It was my toughest workout so far in this ridiculous venture but I felt great, if a little sleepy, for the rest of yesterday afternoon. By the evening I was grateful for a comfortable seat at the SECC to see Coldplay live in concert. And by 10am this morning I could barely f#cking walk from the indescribable waves of pain shooting up through my left foot.
Oh f#ck!
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