It’s ages since I’ve been to a doctor’s surgery, years even; I think the last time might have been 2003 when I had to get a ridiculous amount of inoculations to ward off Japanese Tetsi-Fly Flesh-Eating Syndrome (was it?) during my round the world travels. To everywhere but Japan.
I made an appointment at the local health centre this morning to get a diagnosis of why my left foot has been hurting so much recently and, as is the norm whenever I visit a doctor, the ailment for which I’ve made the appointment is nowhere to be seen (or felt) when I arrive. However, I’m glad to see from the list in the waiting room that my doctor has a degree in sports medicine so I have half a chance of avoiding the usual “drink plenty liquids and keep it elevated” retort.
Doc: “Morning. What seems to be the trouble then?”
Neil: “Well… I’ve been doing a bit of running lately in preparation for the London Marathon next year…” did he narrowly avoid spitting his cup of tea all over his desk just then? “…and I’m getting these sharp, shooting, agonising pains in my left foot. I’m wondering whether I might have cracked a little bone and I really think I should could get an x-ray because I’m just about to ask people to sponsor me and I want a proper diagnosis so that I can actually complete this madness and, and…”
Doc: “Right, first things first. You’re not the lightest of runners are you?”
Neil: “Well.. I..”
Doc: “Do you have the proper running shoes?”
Neil: “Em.. yeah, I do NOW but up until Sunday I was just using my crappy old trainers.”
Doc *rolls eyes*: “Right, let’s see the foot then.” He prods and pokes and taps and squeezes without causing the merest hint of pain. “Well, I’m pretty sure nothing’s broken here.”
Neil: “But I should still get an x-ray to know for sure, right?”
Doc: “Less than 20% of foot stress fractures show up on an x-ray so no, I wouldn’t recommend that. But here’s the telephone number of the Edinburgh University Sports Injury Clinic if you want to pay for a full biomechanical assessment.”
Neil: “They can rebuild me and give me a bionic foot?”
Doc: “No. But they’ll make sure you’re running properly with the correct shoes and not doing anything untoward to cause this pain. Personally, I think your body’s just reacting to the shock of dealing with something new and unfamiliar. Have you thought about doing more cross training?”
Neil: “Running angry you mean?”
Doc: “No. I mean cycling or anything which gives you a similar workout without putting heavy pressure on your foot. Have you ever been to a gym?”
Neil: “Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, oh that’s a good one Doc… I was once IN THE VICINITY of a gym; passed it on the way to the office so, yeah!”
Doc: “Well, give it some thought, see how your new running shoes work out and if the problem persists, definitely call that number I gave you... not here you understand, the number in EDINBURGH. Okay?”
Neil: “Thanks Doc, I will.”
At this point, he didn’t appear to be reaching into his desk to give me a lollipop so I took that as my cue to leave and affected my famous little Keizer Soze limp to take me to the door. Join a gym… ha ha ha ha ha, aye right!
I made an appointment at the local health centre this morning to get a diagnosis of why my left foot has been hurting so much recently and, as is the norm whenever I visit a doctor, the ailment for which I’ve made the appointment is nowhere to be seen (or felt) when I arrive. However, I’m glad to see from the list in the waiting room that my doctor has a degree in sports medicine so I have half a chance of avoiding the usual “drink plenty liquids and keep it elevated” retort.
Doc: “Morning. What seems to be the trouble then?”
Neil: “Well… I’ve been doing a bit of running lately in preparation for the London Marathon next year…” did he narrowly avoid spitting his cup of tea all over his desk just then? “…and I’m getting these sharp, shooting, agonising pains in my left foot. I’m wondering whether I might have cracked a little bone and I really think I should could get an x-ray because I’m just about to ask people to sponsor me and I want a proper diagnosis so that I can actually complete this madness and, and…”
Doc: “Right, first things first. You’re not the lightest of runners are you?”
Neil: “Well.. I..”
Doc: “Do you have the proper running shoes?”
Neil: “Em.. yeah, I do NOW but up until Sunday I was just using my crappy old trainers.”
Doc *rolls eyes*: “Right, let’s see the foot then.” He prods and pokes and taps and squeezes without causing the merest hint of pain. “Well, I’m pretty sure nothing’s broken here.”
Neil: “But I should still get an x-ray to know for sure, right?”
Doc: “Less than 20% of foot stress fractures show up on an x-ray so no, I wouldn’t recommend that. But here’s the telephone number of the Edinburgh University Sports Injury Clinic if you want to pay for a full biomechanical assessment.”
Neil: “They can rebuild me and give me a bionic foot?”
Doc: “No. But they’ll make sure you’re running properly with the correct shoes and not doing anything untoward to cause this pain. Personally, I think your body’s just reacting to the shock of dealing with something new and unfamiliar. Have you thought about doing more cross training?”
Neil: “Running angry you mean?”
Doc: “No. I mean cycling or anything which gives you a similar workout without putting heavy pressure on your foot. Have you ever been to a gym?”
Neil: “Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, oh that’s a good one Doc… I was once IN THE VICINITY of a gym; passed it on the way to the office so, yeah!”
Doc: “Well, give it some thought, see how your new running shoes work out and if the problem persists, definitely call that number I gave you... not here you understand, the number in EDINBURGH. Okay?”
Neil: “Thanks Doc, I will.”
At this point, he didn’t appear to be reaching into his desk to give me a lollipop so I took that as my cue to leave and affected my famous little Keizer Soze limp to take me to the door. Join a gym… ha ha ha ha ha, aye right!
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