It’s the end of week 10 of the 16-week training plan. These next four weekends are going to be hell; a real dark and tough time within the latter part of the plan which will witness the longest training runs and stretch every mental and physical sinew to breaking point; a time to which we marathon runners refer simply as “the four real dark, tough, sinewy-stretchy, pointy-breaky, physical weekends of mental hell”.
Today I should be running 13 miles (followed by 15, 17 and 19 on the next three weekends) so it’s fortuitous, accidental even, that two days ago I came across a poster advertising today’s Meadows Marathon taking place in Edinburgh. Arranged and managed by students of Edinburgh University (so imagine the slick, efficient, organisational skills on show in Bristo Square early on a Sunday morning) the name’s a bit confusing because although it’s being held around The Meadows in Edinburgh, it’s only a half-marathon.
But it’s exactly what I need… a chance to see what it’s like to run with other people while the thronging crowds cheer you heartily all the way round and hot, scantily-clad students smeared in Flora are on hand at every water station to provide resuscitation in all its forms. Alas, not everything turns out to be exactly the same as I’ve fantasised London to be come April. The crowds were thin on the ground for one thing. And I couldn’t believe it wasn’t Flora. But it was certainly an experience running with other people.
I say ‘running with’ but I got the shock of my life when the starting gun went off and almost everyone seemed to shoot off at a sprint leaving me towards the back of the pack, languishing behind four guys carrying large and heavy-looking Loch Ness Monster costumes on their backs.
The ‘race’ consisted of seven and a half laps round The Meadows and right from the start one thing became clear: running ‘laps’ is mind-numbing, delusion-inducing, soul destroying stuff…
Neil (quietly to himself): “Right, there’s that same gnarly-looking tree again. I must’ve passed it a few times now. Only one more lap to go?”
Neil (to himself, but rather more strenuously): “Think again numbnuts, this is only lap 2.”
Neil (out loud): “F##########CCCCCKKKKK!!!!!”
However, one advantage of running seven and a half laps is that at some point you get to see almost every other person running in the race… mainly because they keep lapping you – the winner lapped me three times! But I was heartened by this because while my running style is the very definition of sleek, energy-saving, biomechanical efficiency, most other people looked, if not quite like idiots, then very akin to Phoebe and Rachel. Sure, they’re quick and very fit and probably powering their way to new personal best times but the crooked feet and the flailing ankles and the weird tilting and the stubby little t-rex arms are not going to rack up many style points in my book. Because we all know style points are the most important thing in running marathons, right?
RIGHT?
Anyway, overall I enjoyed the experience and finished the run just a couple of minutes outside my target time of two and a half hours. And I beat the Loch Ness Monster. Only three more real dark, tough, sinewy-stretchy, pointy-breaky, physical weekends of mental hell to go now. Oh, and then the 26 mile one...
Today I should be running 13 miles (followed by 15, 17 and 19 on the next three weekends) so it’s fortuitous, accidental even, that two days ago I came across a poster advertising today’s Meadows Marathon taking place in Edinburgh. Arranged and managed by students of Edinburgh University (so imagine the slick, efficient, organisational skills on show in Bristo Square early on a Sunday morning) the name’s a bit confusing because although it’s being held around The Meadows in Edinburgh, it’s only a half-marathon.
But it’s exactly what I need… a chance to see what it’s like to run with other people while the thronging crowds cheer you heartily all the way round and hot, scantily-clad students smeared in Flora are on hand at every water station to provide resuscitation in all its forms. Alas, not everything turns out to be exactly the same as I’ve fantasised London to be come April. The crowds were thin on the ground for one thing. And I couldn’t believe it wasn’t Flora. But it was certainly an experience running with other people.
I say ‘running with’ but I got the shock of my life when the starting gun went off and almost everyone seemed to shoot off at a sprint leaving me towards the back of the pack, languishing behind four guys carrying large and heavy-looking Loch Ness Monster costumes on their backs.
The ‘race’ consisted of seven and a half laps round The Meadows and right from the start one thing became clear: running ‘laps’ is mind-numbing, delusion-inducing, soul destroying stuff…
Neil (quietly to himself): “Right, there’s that same gnarly-looking tree again. I must’ve passed it a few times now. Only one more lap to go?”
Neil (to himself, but rather more strenuously): “Think again numbnuts, this is only lap 2.”
Neil (out loud): “F##########CCCCCKKKKK!!!!!”
However, one advantage of running seven and a half laps is that at some point you get to see almost every other person running in the race… mainly because they keep lapping you – the winner lapped me three times! But I was heartened by this because while my running style is the very definition of sleek, energy-saving, biomechanical efficiency, most other people looked, if not quite like idiots, then very akin to Phoebe and Rachel. Sure, they’re quick and very fit and probably powering their way to new personal best times but the crooked feet and the flailing ankles and the weird tilting and the stubby little t-rex arms are not going to rack up many style points in my book. Because we all know style points are the most important thing in running marathons, right?
RIGHT?
Anyway, overall I enjoyed the experience and finished the run just a couple of minutes outside my target time of two and a half hours. And I beat the Loch Ness Monster. Only three more real dark, tough, sinewy-stretchy, pointy-breaky, physical weekends of mental hell to go now. Oh, and then the 26 mile one...
2 comments:
It's the last 3 weeks before your 2 week taper. Make every run count rather than counting every run. I can't wait to hear about your 18-20miler. That's all the way to Fawkirk'n'back and would clearly deserve a celebration. I'm thinking double fish supper, single hamburger, pickled egg and a bottle of irn bru. Go Neil...
mmmmm pickled egg & perhaps the runners secret weapon , jelly babies to finish
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