I used to think I had the greatest bladder in the world. I once flew from Amsterdam to San Francisco and never once left my window seat, never mind visit a mile-high bathroom. But try drinking a couple of litres of water within the first hour of waking up, with only a bowl of cheerios (multigrain) and freshly cleaned tubes adorning your insides, and see how far you can run without diving into the bushes for a slash. 15 minutes was all I could manage today before my ‘compression’ base layers exerted unbearable pressure and something had to give. 10 minutes later, I had to repeat the entire emergency bush-diving exercise to ease the strain. Now I'm no doctor (not since the BMA saw fit to revoke my licence for 'inappropriate bedside manners'... some nonsense about 'excess drool') but I'm pretty sure that was probably the same kind of pain that women experience in childbirth… ‘cept I was back on my feet and jogging home five minutes later. No please, save your applause… I’m no superhero… I’m just a man.
Favourite iPod moment: Blondie – ‘Picture This’ (Check out this 1979 video from the magnificent Glasgow Apollo.)
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