During the week I was in a store called TK Maxx where they’ve come up with the revolutionary retail idea of filling their vast space with as much stock as possible whilst only staffing one checkout. This means that consumers have to queue in a snake-like fashion throughout the aisles, so as to encourage them to supplement their shopping baskets with additional impulse buys… “Oooh look, Ralph Lauren tea coseys, grab ‘em quick.” Genius.
Ordinarily, I might have gently and respectfully enquired as to whether putting additional staff on the tills might not be such a bad idea seeing as how the world's oil is due to run out in 2050 and some of us may struggle to get home if the petrol stations are all shut. But I was in a good mood because I'd just discovered this magnificent running attire (they're not tights, okay?) at 50% off so reasoned that if the worse came to the worst, I could put them on and run home.
As you can see from the photograph they're fairly ‘snug’ so before giving them their first outing today, I debated long and hard as to what underwear would complement them best. Prominent VPL's are obviously a worrying concern for marathon runners so I decided on an equally snug pair of Y-fronts (photo available on request), ‘high cut’ in the thigh for ease of movement.
My movement certainly felt easy as I began the weekend's 100-minute long run, but after 30 minutes or so a certain amount of discomfortureness(iticity?) became evident. Specifically, the hunkiness of my thighs, normally so well protected and encased in boxer-styled underwear, was causing some very definite skin friction in the rear groin area and as a result, unequivocal and irreversible chafing had commenced.
I stopped, I stretched, I ran some more, I stopped again, I stretched again and eventually I tried running like a chimpanzee who'd just dismounted after a five-day horse ride, which of course instigated a whole new form of chafing as my knuckles began to drag along the ground.
When I finally waddled through the back door of the house, I'd only managed 75 minutes total running – in short painful interludes – such a disappointment after last weekend’s accomplishment. However, my favourite iPod moment today was Supergrass singing ‘Moving’ which, I swear, came on at the very second my arse was lowering itself on to a park bench for a rest and immediately made me get up and continue on my painful way.
Next week: The One With All The Vaseline
Ordinarily, I might have gently and respectfully enquired as to whether putting additional staff on the tills might not be such a bad idea seeing as how the world's oil is due to run out in 2050 and some of us may struggle to get home if the petrol stations are all shut. But I was in a good mood because I'd just discovered this magnificent running attire (they're not tights, okay?) at 50% off so reasoned that if the worse came to the worst, I could put them on and run home.As you can see from the photograph they're fairly ‘snug’ so before giving them their first outing today, I debated long and hard as to what underwear would complement them best. Prominent VPL's are obviously a worrying concern for marathon runners so I decided on an equally snug pair of Y-fronts (photo available on request), ‘high cut’ in the thigh for ease of movement.
My movement certainly felt easy as I began the weekend's 100-minute long run, but after 30 minutes or so a certain amount of discomfortureness(iticity?) became evident. Specifically, the hunkiness of my thighs, normally so well protected and encased in boxer-styled underwear, was causing some very definite skin friction in the rear groin area and as a result, unequivocal and irreversible chafing had commenced.
I stopped, I stretched, I ran some more, I stopped again, I stretched again and eventually I tried running like a chimpanzee who'd just dismounted after a five-day horse ride, which of course instigated a whole new form of chafing as my knuckles began to drag along the ground.
When I finally waddled through the back door of the house, I'd only managed 75 minutes total running – in short painful interludes – such a disappointment after last weekend’s accomplishment. However, my favourite iPod moment today was Supergrass singing ‘Moving’ which, I swear, came on at the very second my arse was lowering itself on to a park bench for a rest and immediately made me get up and continue on my painful way.
Next week: The One With All The Vaseline
2 comments:
now that's.just.hot.
Don't think I've ever heard of the rear groin area before.
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